Zoey was never featured on my site as she has been retired for
several years and was a valued member of the family. I got Zoey
for my birthday a little over 11 years ago. She was not your
typical small beautiful Yorkie. She was more of the old English
style, but her personality and disposition more than made up for
what she lacked in looks. She produced many puppies for me.
She consistently out produced herself. Her puppies were small
and beautiful each time. She was a wonderful mother and even
fostered 3 newborn Doberman pups along with her own. That
was a site. She is the mother to Sassy on my Yorkie page, and
the grandmother to Dorrie and Gnemi.
Her disposition was such that my Vet called me and wanted to be
placed on the waiting list for one of her puppies. She stated in all
her years she had never treated a Yorkie with her disposition.
What a compliment. Her last litter she had 8 pups and raised
them all. My Vet received a pup from that litter. She retired on
that one. As adults they ranged from 5 lbs all the way down to 2.5
lbs.
In April of 2009 I noticed a growth in her mouth. I knew in my
heart it wasn't good. I took her in to have it removed. It came
back as a fibrosarcoma. Not good news. We went thru 3 weekly
treatments of radiation. The radiologist seemed confident it
wouldn't come back. In July it returned with a Vengence. She
went thru another 2 radiation treatments MUCH stronger than the
first round. In fact the Radiologist stated if she lived another 3
years that her jaw would deteriate due to the strength of the
treatments. It took a month ,but the radiation had shrunk the
tumor. It was again gone. Yeah. The victory did not last long. In
October it returned. I decided not to put her thru more treatment.
Apparently it was very aggressive and couldn't be cured. She
would live out her life with dignity. She would let me know when it
was time.
I had to go to Texas in November for 2 weeks on a family matter.
When I returned, the cancer had gotten so large she couldn't eat.
She still had an appetite. She wanted to eat but couldn't. I could
not stand to watch her staring at the food bowl, wanting to eat
and couldn't, but she clearly wasn't ready to leave us.
I had the growth removed again. This was clearly a comfort
measure and not an attempt to cure her. I knew that wasn't going
to happen. My Vet told me that it had spread to the roof of her
mouth and sinuses and that our time was short.
In the middle of December she began to decline. Her appetite
decreased,she wanted to be alone and sleep. Some days would
be really bad and I would decide to end her suffering. Then the
next day she would rally as to say no, I am not ready. It was an
agonizing time. What to do, what to do.
The Tuesday before Christmas was a really bad day and I felt it
was time. I called to take her in the next day just to find out my
Vet was off until the Monday after Christmas. I didn't want anyone
but her to do it. We would have to wait 6 more days.
Those next 6 days were bittersweet. We spent them loving her
,sleeping with her and going for rides in the car(her very favorite
thing). We also spent alot of time grieving. It was heart
wrenching. The spark had started leaving her eyes,she didn't eat
much and she slept most of the time. Still I kept second guessing
myself. Is it time? Am I being selfish? Does she really want to go?
It was tormenting.
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